This final portion of my India journey is really beyond words. I had to let go of swimming in the Arabian Sea, receiving my daily Ayurvedic beauty ritual, and walking barefoot back to my beach hut in the sand while bracing myself for the transition to dung filled, over crowded city streets, poverty and my fear of the wild unknown.

The best way I can describe the experience is an enriched, and humbling coarse of contradictions where my limiting belief system was expanded through the profound kindness of others, leading me to a new perspective of my Self and the world as I knew it. These last few days of my trip revealed a path that led me to the epicenter of my heart. This is a place were all possibility exist. Where "Oneness" and a "Universal Love" or "Timeless" and vast oceans of "Consciousness" live. I would have never found this space if you handed me a map. I had described this in the previous blog as an "unfolding" or peeling of an onion layer by layer. Little did I know when leaving the South that I had not even got to my juicy, molten, sweet core yet.

“You know the truth by the way it feels.”

— Unknown

Varansai, also known as Banares, Kashi, or "The City of Light" is a historical city in Northern India and one of the continuously inhabited cities of the world dating back to the 11th century BC. Many Hindus believe that dying in Varanasi brings their soul to nirvana and so they make the trip to the city when they realize that they are close to death. The scene of pilgrims doing their devotions in the River Ganga at sunrise set against the backdrop of the centuries old temples is probably one of the most impressive sights in the world. Even my ayurvedic therapist, Revathi, was taken by the fact that I was headed to Varanasi. She begged that I say a prayer for her and her love while I was there and I made a pledge to her that I would.

I had nearly 24 hours in Varanasi and this day was one of the best days of my life. That is the first "contradiction" that I experienced. I went from the contrast as described above from easy going beach life in the south to trying to prepare myself for the culture shock of the burning corpses in view and the feces overflowing from the Ganges in Varanasi. I didn't think I was going to enjoy myself, but I was so wrong.

My day started even before sunrise w/ not only the lovely group of ladies and our experienced group guide James (who had been to India 14 times); but also our sweet travel coordinators Ritu and Kuldeep Singh of Delhi who went above and beyond. (Their site is http://www.reliablevacation.com and they were so rad!) They hired a private local guide, DJ, to give us the real experience of Varanasi. I highly recommend even for the experienced travelers to allow some local expertise to help you make the most of your time here by showing you "the way". The group was prepped before dawn of what to expect of our busy day which would begin w/ a sunrise ceremony by boat on the Ganges and end w/ a sunset ceremony by rickshaw and a super secret back alley tour to explore the real raw daily life experience of the people of this ancient city.

We were off, walking through the city streets to catch a boat to watch the Sun rise while floating down the Ganges. There was SO much to take in on this short walk! There was the most amazing architecture and city scape to sacred ritual bathing in the river. It was a challenge to take in all of the beauty while to trying not to fall down a man hole, get pocket picked by a gypsy or step in a massive pile of cow dung. I was really struck by the mobs of unfortunate souls trying to make their living selling beads or begging. They had clutched on to me for dear life and I wanted to help but I was also trying to keep up w/ the group while taking in all the sights and also not slipping in feces. It was so much sensory at once! Reaching the boat became more important to me than ever as I was so overwhelmed! Here are the visuals I captured right before stepping on the boat then floating away.

This sunrise here was the most peaceful and beautiful as I set my pooja intention w/ the symbol of a lit candle to set float down the water and let go of what no longer serves me. I let go of family trauma from generations past. I let go of pain stored in the cells of my body. I released blocks in my relations w/ my daughter and of my higher Self including a breakdown of ego, victimhood, and doubt. Shiva being the Hindu god known as the destroyer I was in an auspicious place to seek this release considering Varanasi is the city of Shiva and his worshipers. Feeling so peaceful we docked and were on our way to explore the back streets of the city. The pan handlers and bead sellers were so aggressive though. They were just waiting to devour us on the shore. I tried to shake off several of them after becoming annoyed and down right angry. My safety was being compromised because I couldn't even see in front of me as I tried to walk because the swarm so so think. Then another shift occurred.

“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”

— Mary O' Malley

I had another one of those contradictions take place and this one was a full on epiphany! I discovered that those dear unfortunate folks who I am trying to rescue or escape are the ones who end up saving me. I wish I could remember the bead seller's name. ! I went from pushing him away to a full on embrace. In the day I carried no dollars or rupees.. The ally tour after the sunrise boat ride was intense! Think roller coaster ride but w/ flying real moneys, sacred spirit shaman shivites, and the most mystical of ancient temple decor. As I walked through the back allies trying to keep up w/ my group the bead seller dude ended up helping me to miss the land mines of cow dung, dodge a raging motorcyclist, and cross the scariest, busiest street I have ever seen. Thank you special, life changing dude. He wouldn't even take money as a gift once I found some spare change in a pocket. What was most impressive is as we left the city he promised to catch up w/ me later that night. I could not fathom in a million years how I would ever come across him again but there he was that night after I turned the corner.

More to come for the Sunset Pooja_City of Light Sunset Version.